First ice climb is 9 hours away!! Awareness surged when I picked up the demo gear an hour ago. This is real!! The atmosphere of awesome women helps to motivate me, but friends from home would help more. When I am just with myself I am homesick and insecure. I miss Daniel sooo much. Kim Reynolds gave an introduction and slideshow and the participants and guides received goody bags with rad hats, mugs, bars and other stuff! My guide Caroline George is funny and talented, Courtney's attitude and experience is motivating, my energy level is high. My group is all beginners and they're awesome, everyone has a little part of something I want to be. Maybe that is causing my turmoil. I am not resting, I am striving and worrying. I have to be okay with myself. I forget all too often. My ego is searching for ways to boost itself. But why? I need to relax... trust in myself and in God. Pray, rest, relax. I am nervous and tense all over. Tomorrow's activity promises to lend a hand. What a sweet beatiful time for me. I am finally living my dream. One big, badass yay for me! I feel I should be more excited. Fuck that! I "should"n't be anything but exactly who and what I am. I am perfect. And I am tired. : ) 7 am, my first ice climb! Okay that is exciting! Wish me luck!
